• Hiptodiptocaucus may cause Canadian citizenship
• It is known to incite hiccups and hysteria in earthworms
• It inhibits the ability to sign checks
• It is known to accelerate inebriation in rabbits
• It brings on Woodstock bad acid flashbacks
• It has already caused serious Visa credit card "maxing"
• It forces infected victims to text in Russian.
• It turns Republicans into sanctimonious… wait, that may not be confined to this contagion.

If you have any of these symptoms or know anyone how does, contact your doctor at once. And above all, keep a straight face.

The most insidious aspect of Hiptodiptocaucus is that it is suspected of being transmitted by facebooking.

The TreetopsTattler.com will do its best to keep you informed once we get enough black coffee in the drunken rabbits.

The entire ceremony will take place on the Astral Plane allowing only enlightened beings to attend.

The TreetopsTattler.com has been able to confirm that Weird Al Yankovic will conduct the ceremony and also preform a parody of himself as the official entertainment.

While the location of the reception is highly classified, we're sure that the paparazzi press will descend en masse from all points of the globe.

Celebrity guests will be arriving via Astral Airways from as far away as Tau Ceti, where Elvis himself holds court.

Oprah will take on her spiritual partner's name and will be known in the future as Mrs. Oprah Chopra.

Using Roman numerals to identify the championship game came in the 1960s after an NFL team owner came up with the “Super Bowl” moniker. He had been watching his grandchildren play with a trendy toy called a “Super Ball.”

“Pretty scientific, huh?” said Bobrowski. “Good thing the kids weren’t playing with a Hula Hoop.”

Super Bowl I was played on Jan., XV, MCMLXVII, (Jan, 15, 1967) with the Green Bay Packers beating the Kansas City Chiefs, XXXV-X (35-10).

Since then, X Super Bowls have been played in New Orleans, IX have been played in the Miami area and VII in the Los Angeles area.

“Super Bowl 45 (XLV) will be in Texas in 2011 (MMXI),” said Bobrowski. “Maybe by then we’ll have figured out a way to make the Roman numerals go the way of Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction.

“I mean, what else does anybody remember about Super Bowl XXXVIII?”

Imagine the spin off for collateral businesses. Lawyers overseeing divorces, restaurants packed with wooers, clothing retailers stripped bare as people seek to impress with re-dress, mouthwash and mint sales skyrocketing, home sales up everywhere. "Divorce used to be so dull and generally unrewarding. But now, can you say amicable?"

One noticeable casualty… business at cheap motels will be down as the necessity for affairs will be gone.

The government expects to pay $40,000 per decoupling. Applicants have to have been married at least 5 years. The new spouse must be more "fool-efficient" than the last one. Anybody with buyer's remorse prior to that has a lemon, not a clunker.

*Fine print: Prenups are null and void under this new arrangement. With apologies to any former media-maligned golf greats.

“Comet has been in negotiations with a beer company for an endorsement deal and Prancer has always dreamed of opening a Christmas store in his old home town in Norway, which is pretty much frozen Alpine tundra. “

Rudolph, easily the best known of the reindeer crew, is rumored to be angry about the shakeup.

“The red-nosed guy is hot, no question,” Kindle said. “I mean, he’s been the go-to reindeer since 1939 or so and feels like he hasn’t lost a step.”

Word is Rudolph has been reluctant to accommodate new technology and a changing marketplace.

“Dancer and Cupid went to senior management a while ago when Rudolph refused to use a GPS system on Christmas Eve,” said Kindle. “He’s old school, no question.”

“He’s a pain,” said Morey, Senior Elf Adjutant at the North Pole. “Rudolph had a hip replacement a few years ago and didn’t tell us.”

“We’ve had teams of reindeer in the minor league training camps in the Yukon since the 1960s. Mark my words, next year you’re gonna see a whole new lineup ”