While some candidates still have their day jobs, it’s obvious that they didn’t like them very much or they wouldn’t have spent so much time and energy auditioning for a new one. And the rest of these future reality stars are just plain out of work. This is a human resource person’s dream. Proven, marketable people with job skills in place just waiting for the right vehicle.

This flood of talent into the reality show job market happens to coincide with Italian mannequin manufacturer, Almax’s, introduction of its new Eyesee line. These mannequins have little cameras in their eyes that actually look back at the customer and computers that analyze the data that is gathered. “Survivor “ producer, Mark Burnett, is already pitching a show in which former candidate Mitt Romney and Texas Governor Rick Perry, both square jawed and handsome, get jobs as Eyesee dummies. The potential for hilarity is mind-boggling.

Other producers are shopping around “HERMAN CAIN and NEWT GINGRICH: MARRIAGE COUNSELORS ON THE GO,” which is being touted as a light-hearted romp into the darkest areas of people’s private lives. Industry insiders are betting big that this one will be in next fall’s lineup.

Critics are complaining that these shows will further cloud an already muddy line between “reality” and “sitcom.”

But all consider the casting of Rick Perry as a dummy a stroke of genius.

Mr. LaPierre makes a big deal about “good guys” with guns. The problem is that all the “bad guys” were “good guys” in the eyes of the law, until they did that first bad thing. And if that first bad thing ends up being their first and last bad thing, and it’s a really, really bad thing, what is that? Just bad luck? Nutten you can do about that sort of thing… except give the good guys more guns and hope that they aren’t pre - “bad guys.”

Fervid NRA types are sure right down to the soles of their shoes that they have an absolute RIGHT to own any kind of murderous weapon they want. Just as they have an absolute right to buy as much alcohol as they want, pour it into themselves, and go about their business. This includes playing with the assault weapons they have an absolute right to own. If you get busted drinking and driving God help you but…blast away. Makes you lose faith in the alcohol lobby.

Members of congress are extremely careful about messing with peoples right to bear arms. They’re considerably more concerned with that than, say, peoples right to eat, have a warm place to sleep, or decent medical care. Second amendment types say that bearing arms is a right guaranteed in the Constitution, where that other stuff is, at best, just common sense.

Too bad common sense doesn’t have a rich, powerful, lobby.

Social observers tell us one of these doomsday scenarios crops up about every ten years. A comet whose name is forgotten five minutes after it safely passes by a zillion miles away, something nasty and biblical that appeared in some crackpot version of the bible that only six people read, a plague of rats? I suppose there are infinite ways for the world to end, I'm betting on the Martians. There never seems to be a shortage of folks who can't wait to swallow this "end of the world" stuff hook line and sinker.
The fact that reporters and other inquisitive types ferreted out real life Mayan experts, and those guys said it was all nonsense doesn't seem to faze them at all, they want to believe it's over.

Could it really just be about avoiding those bills? Or giving your moral compass a little spin and not worrying about where it ended up pointing because, "what the hell?"
Whatever reasons people have for embracing the end of the world they're out of luck again.

Sorry.

So when the American satirical paper “The Onion” named Korean leader Kim Jong Un its “Sexiest Man Alive” and the story was picked up by the North Korean media, whether people actually believed it or not, they knew they were supposed to believe it. This is in stark contrast to America, where readers with any sense at all believe nothing.

When we see a headline indicating that the head of the CIA spy agency has been busted for having an affair we say, “ha, that’s a good one” and don’t believe it for a second. “I mean if HE can’t keep something like that a secret…. ha ha.”

Or when a candidate for political office consistently contradicts statements he made months, weeks or even just days before, knowing full well that everything he’s said since he became a public figure has been documented by somebody or other, we say, “wow, this guy’s a riot. We have to remember to go see him when he plays the local comedy club.”

Obviously, both the American public and the North Korean public are confused, just in different ways. They have a problem with intentional comedy; we have a problem with unintentional comedy. It’s probably ok, as long as people get a laugh in the end. And who’s to say that Kim Jong Un isn’t the sexiest man alive?

The Taliban couldn’t be reached for comment.

It’s not just toothless, single digit IQ citizens of red states that want out, several high profile businessmen have expressed extreme displeasure at the re-election of the President.

Coal baron Robert Murray and pizza tycoon “Papa John” Schnatter are both so mad as to be spitting nails (presumably a new topping) over President Obama’s victory.

Murray, CEO of Murray Energy, shut down his operations on the day of a Mitt Romney visit thus depriving his employees of that day’s pay. Murray claims that the event was mandatory but employees weren’t forced to attend. Murray Energy gained notoriety during the Crandall Canyon Mine collapse. Despite the disaster, Murray described a number of safety violations that were sited there as “trivial,” while his Galatia mine was sited for 3,500 violations in a span of 2 1/2 years.

On Nov. 9th Murray fired 156 workers citing “Obama’s war of coal” as the reason. Murray and Schnatter agreed that punishing their own employees was a perfectly reasonable response to the Obama win, “We’re sure that some of those twerps voted for him,” observed “Papa John.”

Schnatter, who lives in a forty thousand square foot house with a twenty-two-car garage, claims that many “Papa John’s” franchises will have to cut back on employee hours to avoid paying for their healthcare, “We may have to raise the price of a pizza by fourteen cents.”

Murray lamented, “the only hope for coal under another Obama administration may be to find a way for it to get you high and then open smoking lounges in Colorado and Washington State where it’s apparently now legal to smoke whatever you want.”