By Steve Daley, Washington Bureau Chief,
Sep. 24th, 2011

In the Tattler’s never ending quest to keep our readers on the cutting edge, the paper’s crack investigative unit has been doing some digging.

Cub reporter and part-time soccer blogger Bob Woodhead has discovered a local man so old that he remembers both Pan Am airlines and the Playboy Club.

TV watchers will note that new, nostalgic and soon-to-be-canceled prime-time series on both Pan Am and the Playboy Club have turned up on the broadcast networks this season.

“It’s true,” Don Dropo told the Tattler. “I flew Pan Am back in ’63, back before air travel became a gut-wrenching nightmare. Flew from New York to Miami. Had a nice Beef Wellington dinner. No charge for the carry-on. Are you kidding me?” continued »

That same year, Dropo visited the Playboy Club in Chicago – the original nightspot opened in 1960 by 211-year old Playboy founder Hugh Hefner.

“My boss took me there, or at least that’s what I told my wife,” Dropo said. “ Pretty girls. And pretty racy outfits for 1963. But, looking back, they were wearing more clothes than the average college freshman. I think we had the Beef Wellington.”

Pan Am and the Playboy Clubs both shut down operations in 1991, though you won’t hear about that on prime time. A few Playboy Clubs have reopened since 2006, but Pan Am is as long gone as Allegheny Airlines and the Eastern Airlines shuttle.

“You could tell me things are better now,” Drapo said, “but you’d be full of Beef Wellington.”

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Rating: 2.4/5 (117 votes cast)

By Steve Daley, Washington Bureau Chief,
Sep. 20th, 2011

Just the other day, right there in New York City, a fancy restaurant with a name you can’t pronounce added a baby in a stroller to a party of five so they could charge the automatic gratuity for a party of six.

The customers beefed about it but the folks in the restaurant, who will probably have their own cable TV show soon, didn’t back down.

Around Treetops, local purveyors and those in the hospitality industry take their tipping seriously, though not without a sense of humor.

Veteran mixologist Grant Marnier, who is not fond of being quoted in a newspaper, likes to remind his regulars that his friendship cannot be bought.

“It can be rented, though,” he told the Tattler. continued »

Marnier does appreciate a little something for the effort and ongoing failure to pony up a decent gratuity can lead to long periods of empty glasses and verbal abuse for his patrons.

At Roz’s, the proprietor chose not to discuss her views on tipping, or on much of anything else. However, her regulars have learned that a 20 percent investment when the check arrives tends to make the diner experience run more smoothly.

“I never saw Roz chase anyone into the parking lot for stiffing her on the tip,” said one regular who begged not to be identified. “But she has certain ways of making her feelings known.”

And the baby stroller trick? “Frankly,” said the nervous regular, “I’ve never known anyone crazy enough to bring a baby stroller into Roz’s.”

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Rating: 2.5/5 (119 votes cast)

By Steve Daley, Washington Bureau Chief,
Sep. 13th, 2011

With more than 20 Republican presidential debates on the television schedule for the Fall, Mrs. Spekin’s third grade class at the Horse and Hound Country Day School outside Treetops is anxious to play host to its own debate.

“We have some questions and our parents vote, at least some of them do, so we think it would be swell if all the candidates showed up,” said Kendra, a vocal third grader.

Pressing issues for the eight- and nine-year-olds include the stresses of the multiplication tables and long division, U.S. history and the whole atoms and molecules thing.

“I watched one of the debates with my parents,” said Kendra, “and there were mostly some white dudes and this one woman. They talked a lot about ‘Obamacare,’ whatever that is. continued »

“We think they should talk to us about homework and staying after school and their favorite juice boxes and fast foods; stuff like that.”

Thinking ahead, the third-graders figure one of the TV networks they watch could show the debate, perhaps Nickelodeon or one of the PBS kids’ programming segments.

“Most of us like have to be in bed like really early,” said Kendra’s classmate, Zak, “so they can’t be waiting around until like 9 o’clock to do this.”

Several students had suggestions for a debate moderator, a list that included Spongebob Squarepants, Miley Cyrus and “that old guy on PBS.”

“It would be cool,” Zak told the Tattler, “as long as the people running for President don’t act like a bunch of second graders.”

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Rating: 2.3/5 (128 votes cast)

By Steve Daley, Washington Bureau Chief,
Sep. 8th, 2011

The booth in Roz’s was chockablock with football fantasy league nerds, knocking over their light beers, fiddling with their iPads and pocket calculators, arguing about tight ends.

The National Football League season was bearing down and before the first ankle sprain or missed field goal, the stat boys and stat girls were getting ready.

“I need a backup quarterback and reserve running back in case the guy I picked winds up in the witness protection program,” said Teddy, who plays in three fantasy leagues when his boss isn’t paying attention.

It’s estimated that nearly 20 million Americans are involved in some sort of football fantasy league, where real NFL players are drafted by bored software salesmen, bartenders and lawyers who compile their statistics and, well, compile their statistics. continued »

“It’s a time waster of epic proportions,” said popular NFL fantasy league blogger Knute Romney. “Better than cruising Facebook. Better than watching Chaz Bono try to dance or checking out the ‘Ice Road Truckers’ marathon on cable.”

One theory on the booming popularity of fantasy leagues is that the actual football has gotten pretty darn boring.

“The Washington Redskins are taking seats out of their 90,000 seat stadium,” said Romney. “TV ratings are pretty good but fewer and fewer people are going to the actual games.

“If you don’t call Vegas and bet on the games or draft your own team and keep score that way, well, all you’re left with is Oakland versus Charlotte. Hey, I’d rather watch a presidential debate.”

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Rating: 2.5/5 (121 votes cast)

By Swin Suebsaeng, Special Correspondent,
Sep. 6th, 2011

Now that the once-formidable likes of Gingrich and Huckabee have been purged from the Republican 2012 maelstrom, a fresh face has swooped in to pick at the Grand Old political leftovers.
Perennial favorite Christopher Walken is officially hot on the campaign trail.

“If that freakin’ wiseguy Donald Trump can do it, Christopher Walken definitely f@&king can,” Mr. Walken said as he announced his Republican presidential bid at a Deer Hunter-themed press conference. “And that Romney fella better watch his back before I politically do to him what I literally did to David Caruso in King of New York, if you know what I’m sayin’.”

Walken also discussed his patented ideology—aptly dubbed “Walkenalism” by the mainstream press—as well as his political positions: continued »

“My stance on gay marriage is drawn from the film version of that fabulous musical Hairspray, my foreign policy is taken directly from Tim Burton’s Sleepy Hollow, and my position on gutting Medicare and privatizing social security would mirror the content of my famous and hilarious monologue from Pulp Fiction.

Rumors of potential running mates are patchy at this point, but sources on Walken’s campaign staff have told the Tattler that the candidate is considering tapping John Travolta but “only if he agrees to wear that funny fat suit at the RNC and speak like a song-and-dance Baltimore housewife the whole f@&king time.”

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Rating: 2.2/5 (113 votes cast)